Most people who end up as victims of domestic violence usually get the signs before it matures into full blown, the issue is that a large percentage of them do not pay attention. Some other people have a way of convincing themselves that the signs are misleading or temporary and would go away with time. At the end however, they are usually left ruining those moments they chose not to take action early enough about.
This piece will help you decipher early signs before you end up a victim of domestic abuse in your marriage or relationship.
1. A potential abuser has a way of mocking you for what you excel in. They have a way of playing down your best moments and making you feel you haven’t done enough, even when you are putting in extra effort to please yourself or please them. Such people erode your self-esteem without remorse, and by staying with them, you are enabling them.
2. Not only will they try to bring down your self-esteem, they will slowly cut you away from your network of value; that is, your family and key friends. They tell you your friends and or family don’t love you, that they are the only ones who love you and advise you to avoid your family and friends. The end game is to make you isolated and feeling totally dependent on them, such that you can’t leave. When he starts complaining about your family and friends, asking you to avoid them, that’s a sign you should run.
3. They start trying to change things about you – your makeup, your dressing, your laugh. They are turning you into what you are not, to suit what they want you to be.
4. Be careful, he might tell you to stop working, promising to pay your bills – they are laying the foundation for taking away your financial independence, expecting you not to be able to survive without him.
5. They tell you that you have to beg them for sex, or tell you they don’t find your type of figure sexually attractive or complain about you being unromantic. They are only trying to mess with your head, and make you feel inadequate without them in your life. If this is happening to you; you might be a potential victim of domestic abuse.
6. Quite often, they try to make you get attached to the relationship very quickly, rushing you through every phase. You never get the chance to really evaluate their character.
7. You know very little about their past or family, because they won’t tell you. But they want to know everything about you. Be careful.
8. They see your relationships with other people such as friends, co-workers, and even family as threatening to them. They begin to get jealous easily and tag you as unfaithful.
9. Verbal insult is never far away from them. They may be quick to apologise, but it’s a sign you should not ignore. They end up doing it again, and keep apologising. Refusing to pay attention at this point makes you a potential victim of Domestic Abuse.
10. They refuse to respect your privacy. It’s either they are calling you at strange hours, or showing up at your place unannounced. And if you try to complain, they either threaten you or embarrass you.
If any of these things is happening to you, don’t turn a blind eye to it. If it does not feel right, it is not right. Physical abuse comes after emotional abuse. Emotional abuse is just as bad as physical abuse. While you still have the strength to run, take your leave.