With Sukurat Adelodun
To have a dream is not a waste of time. Even if it appears unrealistic or being redirected by unforseen circumstances, just like Bola dreamt of a perfect future for herself before trial twisted it otherwise, it never means you would not achieve your dream if you apply consistency, focus and dedication.
Bola is the first child of her mother’s 6 children, and 13th of a polygamous family of 14 children. Though, she had the best that life could offer her as a child and shared intimate friendship with her aged father. As prominent in her culture, last child of a family gets best care from both parents and which does not exclude older members of the family, but death snatched her best friend (father) when she was 9.
Survival became tough for her, her brother and mother. The unfavorable actions of her paternal family then forced her mother out of her husband’s house and returned to her hometown in search of a greener pasture. she lived in better days, tasted flavour that God offered at its rosy moment and for someone who was brought up with a silver spoon, and had to live without same spoon, there must be someone who understood that episode of life, to explain to Bola a little girl whose knowledge was yet to develop.
After a while, her mother remarried while this gave a room for her and her brother to start school in a new town. Their mother gave them the best training any good mother would give her children. At the age of 15 while she was in Senior School 2 (SS2), she had a relationship with her best friend Deji. They grew very close and became inseparable amongst their peers. Tragedy struck when she lost Deji to the cold hands of death. This happened to be the second tragedy to befall Bola and it broke her heart and made her depressed for a long time before she moved on and could even love again.
She met Wale at the age of 20 when she was attending a Computer School prior to her admission into Tertiary Institution. They started dating and within a year, she got pregnant for Wale. It took her a while before she got to know that she was pregnant, consequent to the continuation of her menstrual flow. Wale’s denial of being responsible for the pregnancy left her mother seriously heartbroken, which resulted into her several failed attempts to abort the pregnancy.
Bola’s pregnancy coincided with a Provisional Admission Offer to study Mass Communication at a Nigerian Polytechnic. What a blessing in disguise! When she received a divine favour from the school’s Director of Part-Time Studies who paid for her tuition as well as registered her for antenatal at a General Hospital around the school. Few months later, she delivered a beautiful baby girl who was kept with the School’s Clinic Nanny whenever she was to attend classes – an initiative of the Director and the School Clinic’s Matron.
She revisited her childhood dream of becoming a well-to-do individual, thus, she graduated with a Pass and was awarded a Certificate in Ordinary National Diploma (OND), but Bola got more determined to make a good grade when she enrolled for Higher National Diploma (HND) and came out with a Lower Credit with 3.99GPA. She got an opportunity to work with a specialized Media Firm and that was how she began the journey into Media industry.
While going on with the profession she used her experience of being a single mother at a young age to talk to young people of her age and those younger, and, most of them listen and turn a new leaf. This motivated her to focus more on community service by counseling young people and also contributing our quota to develop her community through volunteer activities with some NGOs within the country, She was also selected as the Coordinator of the West for an NGO called WholeWomanNetwork.
Her zeal, quest for knowledge and interest in the Social Media has helped to open door of great opportunities to meet great people who contributed to her success and those who encourage and believed in what she does.
Furthermore, owing to her life experience and passion for community development, she was amongst the selected 35 Nigerians and 105 West African Young Leaders for YALI Cohort 3 of the United States of America sponsored Young African Leaders Initiative (YALI) where she was trained on Civic Society and Leadership at the Regional Leadership Center, Ghana Institute of Management and Public Administration, GIMPA, Accra. Bola’s passion for Community Development and Human Investment gave birth to Hope for Girls and Women Foundation – an NGO saddled with the responsibility of impacting positively on young people through education, empowerment and environmental health awareness creation.
Today, Bola is happily married and blessed with 3 children . Nothing can be this better for her as she is doing well in her chosen career as well as impacting lives of Teenagers in Ilorin, Kwara State, a North Central State of Nigeria. While Ire, her first child whom she gave birth to while in Polytechnic, is now in a Secondary School and in good relationship with her father who has since assumed responsibility as well as accept paternity of the child.
Whereas, the joy of motherhood is immeasurable just as the challenges can be pain-staking. If one believes in his or her dreams, it can be achieved, just as her case; she never relented nor gave up; despite the trials faced in the early part of her life.
Don’t get rid of that pregnancy all because he denies responsibility. That baby has a right to life, don’t give in to criticism, it is just to bring out the best in you when it comes. That you failed today does not mean you are a failure, but it means you should try harder. Trials don’t last forever because tough times don’t last but tough people do.
However, Precaution for unwanted pregnancy has not changed measure from staying off premarital sex completely as well as all elements that could desire it.
Remember Harriet Tubman said: ‘Every great dream begins with a dreamer, always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars in order to change the world’.
Apathy and complacency are the real enemies of love. They sneak up on people like small leaks in a boat and drain away imaginations until motivations to grow are lost. When you fall into the chasm of downward energy, it’s vital to continue dreaming and acting on dreams to develop as humans. Your dreams take consistent enthusiasm to keep them burning. A small movement or an action is all you need to keep your enthusiasm. Take a small action each day to keep it alive. Recommit to letting your mind explore new possibilities by conceptualizing your biggest dreams and acting on them. By doing this consistently, you’ll start to realise your dreams one step at a time.
Bola never gave up, that was why she could still retrace her steps and be a happy mother today, and yours isn’t an exception, so make the stars your starting point and not your limits.