Blues for Life
By Billy Adedamola
The above title is not my creation. It was borrowed from the fans of Chelsea, the premiership soccer team which domicile on Stamford bridge in the northern section of London, United Kingdom. Chelsea fans love their club with fanatical fervour. They love the club not because of the official colour of the club’s Jersey which is blue. They love the club because of its strength and character which has chalked up victories and trophies to the supporters’ delight and pride. Consequently, they pledge their lifelong support and love to the team, calling themselves “blues for life “. This piece is however not about Chelsea and its fanatical fans. It’s about another blues rippling across Kwara and beyond. It is about a man who allegedly abandoned his wife and two daughters because of the colour of their eyes. As the story goes, the wife , Risikot had blue eyes which is strange in this part of the world. To worsen matter, her two daughters inherited the blue eyes from her. This reportedly made the husband ,Abdul-Wasiu to walk out on the wife and the kids ,abandoning them to thier fate. Risikot’s story attracted massive reaction from within kwara and across the world. Trust Nigerians, they went into emotional overdrive, condemning the runaway husband, even when they hadn’t hear his own side of the story. He was tried and guilty verdict hung on his neck by the public based on the one-sided account of the aggrieved wife. Now, I’m not trying to defend the husband’s action. No doubt, it is irresponsible for a man to abandon his wife and children for whatever reason. The point I’m trying to make is that,the reason for the man’s action may not be chiefly because of the strange colour of the eyes of his wife and children. That may not be the immediate cause of his departure. From the accounts of all the dramatis personae,including the,wife, husband and the mother-In-law, the problems that afflicted the couple leading to their separation were more of economic than stigmatization. Also,genuine love and affection was lacking. The man denied abandoning the wife and the children because of the colour of thier eyes, stressing that he actually married his wife because of the strange eyeballs. He accused his wife of being wayward among other things. My take is, he married his wife because of the colour of her eyes only, her character was never part of the bargain. Then the issue of love. Genuine love endures and tolerance is its main pillar. Consequently, when the challenges came, tolerance was absent, thus sending the union to the rocks. Also, what kind of wife was Risikot to her husband and what was her relationship with her in-laws. I don’t think the husband’s defence should just be dismissed with a wave of hand. From all accounts, he never told the wife he was quitting and he never disowned the children. I find it difficult to believe that a man would just neglect his own biological products because of their disability( and these children are anything, but disabled ). It is uncommon to find parents of disabled children abandoning them. Talk of children with disability like blindness, paralysis, autism,the deaf and dumbs, the parents usually go at great length to take care of them. Except those children are not genuinely his, it is difficult to believe that Abdul-Wasiu does not have affection for them. Everyday and all over the world, marriages are crashing over sundry reasons. Husbands are visiting violence on thier wives, and wives too are no longer folding their arms . They too are fighting back. Abdul-Wasiu was a penurious vulcaniser who could barely make ends meet. This is one of the causes of tension between couples. And it certainly contributed to the separation of Abdul-Wasiu and his blue-eyed wife.That however does not justify his action. The families of the couple on both sides failed in their responsibility to wade into the matter and bring about reconciliation. That’s why the intervention of our father,the emir of Ilorin which successfully reunited the couple is commendable. Whatever were the grievances of the husband were examined and the wife should adjust to enjoy the juice of matrimony. The husband too,should be more tolerant and accomadate his wife’s shortcomings. Marriage is give and take after all. A lesson from this is that ,you don’t marry because of colour and physical appearance alone. Compatibility is one thing you cannot afford to ignore if you crave blissful union. Like Chelsea fans, its not about the colour of the club’s Jersey, its more about what the club has to offer. I rejoice with the couple on their new found fame and fortune. I pray that Allah will sustain their union. For those who responded to the plight of Risikot, their gesture is commendable. My concern is that, the motivation was anything but altruistic. It’s about seeking cheap public approval and relevance. It is self-serving. There are widows languishing in the painful task of shouldering the responsibility made for two alone. There are so many women in the society who have suffered the same abandonment for other reasons than blue eyes. Those scrambling to offer thier messianic gesture to the blue eyed woman and her children should extend same gesture to these women,wives and mothers, too. But I doubt if they will do that. Reason? It would not attract the cheap and dubious publicity they seek.
Congratulations, Imam Olopoewa
Last week, I was a guest at the wedding of the son of Imam of Agaka mosque. It was grand occasion that attracted high profile personalities. It was a befitting honour to whom it was due. The chief Imam of Ilorin, Shiek Muhammad Bashir Soliu was there in his grandeur to preside over the proceedings. He was supported by Imam Imale, Abdullah Abdulhameed, and Imam Gambari, Sulaiman AbdulAzeez.. There was former president of the IEDPU,Abdulhameed Adi . Also were former Grand Khadis, Alhaji S O Mohammed, Alhaji Idris Haroun and AbdulMuttalib Ambali. The Dan Madami of ilorin, Alhaji Shehu Gafar was also there. Now, there are so many things I want to say about the Imam Agaka mosque ,Alhaji Yusuf Murtala , but for space. In Shaa Allah, I will share my relationship with the world one day soon. I have profound love and affection for him. I pray for Allah to bless the marriage of his son, AbdulAzeez,
Magaji Nda’s 20th anniversary
All roads lead to the emir’s palace on Tuesday(tomorrow ) where the 11th Magaji Nda of Ilorin, Alhaji Saliu Woru Mohammed will be celebrating his 20 years coronation as Magaji Nda. Magaji and I had enjoyed close relationship spanning almost two decades. He has been a friend, uncle, and confidant. The story of Magaji Nda will be told to the world very soon , In Shaa Allah. Congratulations, Magaji Nda, an illustrious son of the ilorin emirate. A man who loves me like his blood relation. A man I love endlessly.