By Revd Dr. Idowu Ibitoye
Home and marriages are becoming soft target for Satan and his hosts. Many homes had collapsed or crumbled while some are on the verge of disintegration. Many children have turned vagabond due to lack of home training or parental separation. This write-up tries to address the subject of family in the light of Real husband, Real wife and Real home. Real, simply means genuine, authentic, original, not false or artificial. In this context, we simply refer to husband and wife who are genuine and authentic.
Every husband must strive to make his family comfortable and be exemplary. For any husband to be genuine and real, he has duties to perform which include the following:
1. Loving their wives unconditionally. Husbands must display genuine love to the wives, “husbands love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” Eph. 5:25. Jesus Christ demonstrated agape love for mankind and husbands must manifest this type of love for wives.
2. Nourishing their wives and homes – Husbands should keep their wives and homes provided for and healthy. This must be done with physical and spiritual foods.
3. Not hating their wives – Why will a husband hate his wife? Marital hatred should not be reported in Christian home, as spouses must learn to forgive themselves and move on to build their home to a glorious height. No husband should hate his wife “After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church” Eph. 5:29.
4. Cherishing their wives – Husbands must love their wives very much and always rise to protect them, just as everyone takes good care of his body so also the wife must be cherished by husbands.
5. United with their wives – The bible declared “that is why a man leaves his father and mother and is UNITED to his wife, and they become one flesh” Gen. 2:24. Cf Eph. 5:31 Jesus also affirmed this command in Matt. 19:6. God created man and woman and declared them husband and wife. Monogamy is God’s perfect plan for marriage and it is the ideal for Christian home.
6. Provider – A real husband provides for his family. Fathers should never run away from their responsibilities of providing for the needs of his home. “Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” I Tim. 5:8. These provisions include payment of children school fees, provision of food stuffs, accommodation, clothings, etc. However, the wife can complement and support the husband in all these responsibilities, for the progress of the family.
7. Protector – The father is the shepherd of his family, he must rise to protect his home from life predators and ensure that the family is well protected both physically and spiritually.
8. Companion – The husband has the role of companionship to his wife. They should both make the journey of life together; they should both serve God and be blessings to humanity (Gen. 2:20-24).
9. Honouring wives in public and private – Some husbands are fond of insulting their wives in the public and giving them public disgrace. The wife may have her own flaws and short-comings, it is the responsibility of the husband to cover her up and give her public honour, even at home she must be honoured and respected.
10. Committed to the success of the marriage – Marriage is a task and project that both husband and wife ensure its success and its goal accomplishment. Both must be committed to the progress and peace of their home.
11. Prayer – A real and genuine father is a prayer warrior. He must regularly be in prayer with his wife and family. Always calling his family for prayer and ensuring vibrant family altar. All husbands must be like David, who despite his tight schedules still prayed for and bless his family, “then all the people left, each for their own home and David returned home to bless his family” I Chron. 16:43.
12. Disciplinarian/Trainer – He must be a father who disciplines his children in the ways of the Lord. “whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them” Prov. 13:24.The greatest responsibility that God gives parents is the nurture and guidance of their children. When children are disciplined it helps in character formation and development of the children. Disciplining children averts long-range disaster; but without correction, children grow up with no clear understanding of right and wrong and with little direction for their lives. The discipline should be made in love and it is to bring out the best moral character out of the children.
Parents must constantly pray for their children to be delivered from satanic influences. Likewise, parents must expose their children to religious activities very early in life. They must participate in church programs and activities, such as involving them in children Sunday school class, children choir, children Bible club and Bible quiz competitions etc.
A Real Wife
A real wife is the original wife, a soul mate to her husband, she is the mother in the house. She has lots of responsibilities to perform in moving the home forward.
Commands To The Wife
Ephesians 5:22-24,33 gave four commands to the wife, These commands are not the military type; but commands in the Lord. It include:
1. Submission to her husband as to Christ – “Wives, submit yourself to your own husbands as you do to the Lord” Eph. 5:22. The wife must accept her husband’ leadership. This should not be a problem in Christian homes because Christ is the head, with the husband taking authority from the Lord.
2. Recognising the headship of the husband- The wife must recognize her husband as her head and give the necessary respect, “for the husband is head of the wife as also Christ is head of the church and He is the savior of the church” Eph. 5:23.
3. Being subject to the husband – This subjection is likened to how the church is subject to Christ in taking directives from the Lord, “Therefore just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything” Eph. 5:24.
4. Reverenceing the husband – reverence is the feeling of great respect and admiration to someone, “… and let the wife see that she respects her husband” Eph. 5:33.
By Revd Dr. Idowu Ibitoye