ECCLESIASTICAL VOICEWorship (Christian and Muslim)

Intimacy in Christian Home (II)

By Revd. Dr. Idowu Ibitoye

  1. Expressing of Apologies – This is necessary in marriage, because the two individuals who come together as a couple are imperfect beings and they shall offend each other. To apologize is to recognise mistakes and take responsibilities for such action.
  2. Forgiveness – This is the process of letting go of anger, and not desiring to revenge about a spouse’ mistake. It must be noted whosoever lacks the spirit of forgiveness should not venture into three things; that is, such should not assume position of leadership, never get married and not to live among human beings. Forgiveness is necessary in human existence, and everyone should imbibe the principle of forgiveness in the journey of life; “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you” Eph. 4:32.

iii. Careless speech – Couples should not allow unnecessary arguments that can result in anger, in their homes. “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” Prov. 15:16,Eph. 5:3-6. However, couple could “let their conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt so that you may know how to answer everyone” Col. 4:6. It is on record that many homes are in disarray today because of spousal careless and unguided communications.

  1. Never engage in contention – Couples should do everything possible not to engage in contentions and quarrelling, because such can lead to broken home or separation. Likewise, nagging should never be allowed. To nag is to repeatedly remind or complain to one’s spouse in an annoying way, most especially about insignificant matters and to bother such with persistent memories. This should be discouraged and must not be encouraged in homes.

The benefit of effective intimacy

There are many benefits attached to intimacy in Christian homes. These include:

  1. It brings unity in the family – Spousal intimacy will result into unity and harmony in the family, the Bible says “Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity” Ps. 133.1. Through unity the family shall experience peace and progress in all areas of their marital life.
  2. It also bring about free flow of communication – When husbands and wives are intimate there will be effective communication and they will be able to discuss and interact holistically for the progress of their home.

iii. Effective intimacy makes marriage to last a life time- This help couples to stay together for the rest of their lifetime. Without intimacy marital journey becomes boring and stressful; however, with the ingredient of intimacy in it, the journey of life in marriage becomes peaceful, and productive for the betterment of the home.

  1. It makes the marriage more enjoyable – This is a process of taking pleasure and benefitting from the marriage. Through intimacy marriage gives couples lasting satisfaction and peace of mind. “For as a young man marries a virgin, so shall your sons marry you, and as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall your God rejoice over you” Isaiah. 62:5 cf. Prov. 31:5.
  2. Intimacy brings greater spiritual stamina – Through the bond of intimacy in Christian homes there is greater spiritual stamina/strength, as the family prays and get answers and heaven will continue to open for them. They are able to serve God together and be a blessing to their community, cf. Eccl. 4:9-12.
  3. Intimacy negates shame, reproach and confusion – “And the man and his wife were both naked and were not embarrassed or ashamed in each other’s presence” Gen. 2:25.Shame, reproach and confusion shall be far away from any home that practices intimacy.


The husband and wife must strive to always promote, and improve intimacy in their marriage. The bond of intimacy should be strengthened everyday, with the practice of love in marriage; and through this homes will experience undiluted peace.

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