With Adetunji Ayobrown
Of all world conventions, sex is the fairest because if with consents
of the actors, all parties involved are beneficiaries. As nature meant
to be, a kind of symbiosis arrangement between opposite genders, where
all parties go home smiling. But if it was perhaps unfair to one of
the parties, then what do we call that? Use your big head and not your
little head is the very first warning given to all young boys reaching
adolescence age to guide and guard them in order to know what to and
not to while relating with the opposite sex. With the news all over
the airspace, sex for marks scandals in our universities across Africa
and Nigeria in particular is no longer a joke and should not be taken
as such. As it has become a daily news item in recent times is truly
worrisome, not only as it affects women, the supposed victims but
also, men, the supposed perpetrators. Yes, I said supposed because
only God knows what transpired between these actors. After all, some
male and lecturers, I spoke with are of the opinion that some ladies
make themselves available in other to get some forms of favour or the
other from the culprits, men. Of the allegations and harassments, so
who is guilty? Considering the fact that aside from the effects, this
act is not only absurd, it is also not cool to the male folks.
Some says when man gets an erection, he hardly thinks straight,
because it is believed that blood rushes from the big head to ‘little
head’ and the bigger head drop its defences abruptly or how else would
you describe all this nonsense? When the little head is erected, some
can hardly think straight, they become worked-up kind of. Perhaps
maybe two per cent or less of men may be involved in one way or the
other, really, this action is very unsettling. If you are a man, you
should ordinarily know how to ask a woman of your status out with any
string attached.
What is the name of such cold room in your university? Ask your
lecturers, if such exists, find out. And how did it get to these, may
like followed? The likes of Ransford Gyampo and Paul Kwame Butakor,
two lecturers from the University of Ghana were caught on camera
soliciting sex from supposed students. Now not on a different rhythm,
that of University of Lagos too acted its own scripts. Lecturers were
allegedly taking turns to have sex with female students in a staff
club called the ‘Cold Room’, according to a BBC documentary. A
lecturer touched her breasts while writing Bible verses, one of the
students alleges in an explosive sex-for-grades documentary.
Professor Boniface Igbeneghu, a Senior Lecturer, Faculty of Arts; and
a former Sub-Dean of the University of Lagos (Unilag), could be seen
in the documentary trying to sexually harass a BBC reporter, who posed
as a 17-year-old, while sharing tales of sex for grades with her.
But how do we advice an adult who is supposed to know better as in the
case of these lecturers and professor? People who are supposed to
teach their students not only academic aspects of works but also
morals!
A BBC documentary has detailed a slide of sex-for-grades stories
emanating from universities in Nigeria and Ghana through its ‘Africa
Eye’ initiative. Why would a Pastor risk it all, just because of sex?
To get the stories of sexual harassment out in the open, the BBC
reporter, Kiki Mordi and her team went undercover, speaking to
lecturers and students in Nigeria and Ghana, while arming themselves
with body or spy cameras.
I know myself pretty well, so do everyman and that is no gainsaying.
Talking x-rated with any opposite sex or your student for that matter,
from that day you know scandal is likely. Why pay for sex with your
life since you know that if caught you may end up regretting your
move, the rest of your life? What is the question that should be
ringing in your head if you are truly sane.
Though, some aligned with the notion of ‘condemn not’. Who has never
done such should cast the first stone, may be the ring tones of their
other gigolo colleagues. Soon he will realise the import after being
slammed with a five years jail term. Five straight years behind bar is
no joke my friend; not only his mind but his eyes will see that the
worse has indeed happened.
Some believe that calling a man a dog is like calling a man a man,
ironically this untamed manner can be controlled or checked. However,
if not properly checked can ruin not only the body but also a man’s
entire soul. Alas, the aftermath effect for any offender is so much
that I wondered why anyone would wilfully want to be involved in such,
except if or when under some influences, evil spirit or spirit in the
bottle, I mean influence of alcohol.
Any of the spirits involved or pushing and wrongly counselling him
would have left him to his ordeal by now, while regrets in all shapes
and sizes will be taking turns in his mind. When you have the
opportunity of taking back the hand of the clock, an opportunity to
have a repeat of the scenario, will you want to relive those events is
my question to the randy lecturers? I must say that the professors and
their victims will rather not to go through such day(s) again in their
lifetimes. Indeed, it was a wrong turn for all.
They hate to admit it, some men’s emotions go haywire, if not why not
do it with the right persons where there will be no issues if it is by
mutual consent. This kind of irrational behaviour will only give
emotional trauma to both parties but especially to some of the
victims. What could be responsible is really mind bugging. Well, some
submitted that it is this sex matter that was responsible for the fall
of the first man and woman in the Garden of Eden. Yes, it was the evil
spirit called the devil, Satan or whatever.
Besides the two balls, fear is the girl’s best friend, using force is
not ideal for a respectable gentleman, talk more of erudite scholars.
It is absurd! There are things in life more important than money and
fame, like friends and family; therefore, they should have considered
what such an act could do to them.
Dirt is flirty, who doesn’t know that? Lecturers, teachers and men
generally should be careful because the world is coming to an end that
is one of the signs. Temptation is rife, but must we succumb to it?
Even to marry another wife, beautiful lady of course will never cost
that much. Rags by nature are dirty, but beware of the beautiful
devils is the simple message.
Some men don’t get things right the first time, my advice for these
type is that before you can conquer the beast in you, one must
understand the nature of the beast except you have prepared for the
eventuality.
Maybe they are right, after all some are of the belief that an erected
penis has no shame, and a man being a dog is like a man being a man,
but we should not forget that even dogs can be trained. If you are a
man with or in your own class getting your class in women should not
be a problem. Then, it is apt to consider our character and different
societal values.
However, today, what may be responsible may not necessarily be the
evil spirit but bottled spirit or spirit in the bottle (anyway you may
want to call it), as today looks like tomorrow to drunkards. Come to
think of this, what difference will it make before and after for the
actors except that their minds were toyed with by bad spirit which
resides inside you or the evil likely after excessive consumption of
alcohol in the bottle.
*Ayobrown, Senior System Analyst, National Pilot
Newspaper, writes via aayobrown@gmail.com
