Opinion

Happy birthday to me

 

By Abdulwahab Oba

How time flies! It was in this Ilorin community that I was born years back. I lived and schooled here. Like yesterday, we would wake up in the morning for the early congregational morning prayer. It was mandatory for every child to go to the mosque. The early morning prayers afforded every one of us to meet our peers.

On week days, every child would then return home early enough to prepare for school. We trekked to school and knew every nook and cranny of our community. We also almost knew all our peers in the community, especially along our ways to school. It was a real community living. Every one was responsible for every one.  Every one was his brother’s keeper. No child dared misbehave without the fear of being scolded by just any elderly person around.

After school, we would still go to “Ile Kewu” to study the holy Qur’an. No child born, ‘bread and buttered’ in Ilorin in the 60s, 70s and 80s without going to “Ile Kewu”. It was an aberration not to go to “Ile Kewu”. As a matter of fact, it was a condition for going to secondary school. Every one of us knew we must complete the holy Qur’an if we wanted to proceed from primary to secondary schools. The “Ile Kewu” was another moral and religious training ground for every child. The “Alfa” ensured moral and religious discipline and adherence of every one.

At the home and family levels, our parents took cognisance of every one of our movements and behaviours. They paid our school fees, fed us with what ever they had and bought us cloth. They knew what we had or had not. Every member of the extended family lived as a member of the same family. In adherence with the Islamic injunction, to share with the less privileged.

Those were good old days when the people of Ilorin saw one another as members of the same family. Things have really changed over the years. As a result of growth of our population,  families now lived apart with every one caring for and only about himself or his immediate and nuclear family. Very few people are now keen with the progress and success of others, at worst, we envy one another.

As I add another year to my age today, over the years, I have learnt wonderful lessons of life. I have come to understand that people behave differently in varied circumstances. I have come to realise that  expectations are distinct from realities. Your neighbours may no longer necessarily be your well wishers and your perceived traducers might be your admirers. You may be frustrated if you expected those you love or admire to reciprocate your generosity and compassion. I had thought that in life, two plus two will always be four. But, I have since realised that you need not offend some people before they hate you.

No one is immuned free from being slandered, not even our creator. Don’t forget, Judas was the closest to Jesus, he betrayed his master. Prophet Muhammad was chastised by his people and forced to migrate elsewhere for refuge. He returned to Mecca triumphantly. “If you are a philanthropist, they say you spend lavishly; if you are quiet, they say you are a dumb and if you are vocal, they say you are talkative”, those are the ways of men. You are admired only when they need or benefit from you. Do not be deceived when they praise you to high heaven, watch your back.

According to Richard Akinnola, an activist, “you can’t live in this world without your own measure of being betrayed and offended. Only those in the cemetery don’t experience hurts and offences. But life has taught me to shrug it off; learn your lessons and move on. Let God fight your battle. There are still many mountains to climb and many rivers to cross in this life. If someone repays your goodness with evil or lack of appreciation, don’t let that stop you from doing good. Don’t let past hurts and offences deny you of your tomorrow”.

A friend once advised me. He said, when people throw you stone,  it’s because you’re a good tree full of fruits. They see a lot of harvest in you. Don’t go down to their level by throwing them back the stones, throw them your fruits so your seeds may inspire them to change their ways. This I have also learnt from my parents. They taught me to plant whatever good I am able to, believing that it will one day germinate. They taught me not to pay evil with evil so that evil will not persist. They taught me to leave my fingerprints in whatever I touched. They taught me that life will be at its best when others are happy because of my actions. I have learnt from my parents to be an agent of unity among friends and families. I learnt to be a team player and not a lone ranger.

In my life’s journey, I have benefited immensely from people that are close and far away from me. So, I have decided to live my life for others. Trees do not eat their fruits; rivers do not drink their water and sun does not shine on itself. I have decided to remember those who love and cherish me; those who overlook my mistakes but reminiscence over my good deeds; those who stand with me when I am distressed and forget those who wish for my down fall.

No matter what, some will love you and some will hate. They may hate you not necessarily because you are bad, but because hatred is in their blood. Learn to be focus; do good to everyone within the limits of your capacity; expect no kindness from anyone but God; don’t be frustrated by their slanders; trust and rely on God.

As I add and reduce another year in my sojourn in life, I appreciate Allah’s wonders in my life, the son of an ordinary Sheikh Abdulwahab. I thank families, friends and associates for their tolerance, love and support this far. Quite a number of people have positively impacted my life; and there are so many. Some of them in Kwara, Lagos, Abuja and Kano; may God bless them abundantly.  Those who left  sour memory, I forgive them from the depth of my heart. Those who feel slighted by my actions, utterances, writings or perception, I seek forgiveness.

To God, I raise my hands for His mercy. I seek protection from those I love but unjustly castigate me. I’m feeble and susceptible to the vagaries of manipulative tendencies. But, in you I trust. In your hand lies my tomorrow. God, secure me and mine. Happy birthday to me. Igba odun, odun kan.

 

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